lol... somehow i neglected this place so much after i've gotten a vox. xD vivrelavie.vox.com 

so much has happened. ttime, exams, new form teacher, chinese grades, om rehearsal, maths trial dryrun... i guess i should really write more often to  keep track of my sad, scattered, pointless life ;(

feeling sad now cos i think i'm noting living life the way i want and not living up to my own expectations. i dun think i can bear tests again. they are driving me nuts already >< sigh. life's short but why carn it just be the way we want it to be? lol. i wish i can be happier, or at least do wat i set out to do. mayb i should just take things easy. hah. easier sad than done. why do i care anyway? lol. i wish i can just dump everything away and not live in this world anymore. some other ones mayb a nice change (:

today ttime auds!! so funnnnn ((:

we got to sch early in the morning. then we waited for some ppl to come. then we moved to j block  to prac and get ready.

and i was the makeup woman!!! hahas.... so funny. then i makeup for a lot of ppl! lol. see how pro i am xD hahas. *egoist alert* 

putting on makeup for others is such a fun thing to do. and i think hair stylist very cool too! yile! we can all go salon if we're retrenched! hahas.xD

then diff ppl got diff colour, but we settled with purple and green eye shadow (: looks very nice. the bottom is darker colour, then further up we used shiny beige. nice effect (:

yile brought the hair straightening thinggy! and she did my fringe for me (: then i had straight hair!!! yea!!! first time :DD hahas. so fun!!

then was the big mascara issue then dunno how to put, mascara ended up everywhere etc xD hahas..... but eventually we got everything ready (: ok not really. we still had to put blush on the bus xP but oh wells.

the dance was ok.... got like little minor screwups but not so bad. the judge liked out dance moves : DDD hahas. so coolios ((: but i think we need to smile more cos i think we all look very nervous/stone if we dun smile xD hahas

but we did well ((: well done yearmates!!!!

yea xD

these are the kind of things we rmb (:

mimisatu!

ok then om. lol. i was like really really tired, so i din end up doing much xD ooops

then there's the car incident with him which turned really sour and bad so i dun wish to talk about it. so stupid and dumb

i recommend klipfolio!!

visit www.klipfolio.com for more info!! its very very useful and you can practically link anything you want and get updates in an instant :D

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!! 

yea holiday season is once again in town!! yea ((: but but but, i dont get to have fun n party cos i've got lots of HOMEWORK!! and pts for that matter, the dreaded words of all times... as if giving a name like "creative assessments" to pts would make then less intolerable. haha. the irony...

things to do:
phy ws
5 phy qns
french pronom relatif ex
french mots indefinites ex
closure no. 4
3 maths ws on probability
3 maths ws on radian 
1 maths ws on statistics
lsl reflections

read: 
7-8 sets of geog notes
3-4 sets of eng notes
7-8 sets of ss notes

revise:
geog
chem spa
french
chinese zuo wen
a maths

HAHAS   a fantastic holiday!!! lol

yea but i admit i need to put in more effort into my studies as well as relationships, but in the mean while, i just need to STAY HAPPY!! yea... aim for more sleep, less panda eyes, and less wrinkles!! hahas.

and i think i need to commit to the stuff  i have committed myself into more ((: well to avoid regrets that i could have done it better... 

if you set out to do something, you either give it your best, or not do it at all

makes perfect sense :DD i shall put in my best in everything i do (: lol. easier said than doen that it XD 

before i go, i shall wish everyone:

鼠钱不完
牛那样庄
虎虎生威
兔气杨眉
龙马精神
蛇得消费
马到功成
羊洋得意
候会有期
鸡不可失
狗用就算
猪你发财

哈哈。新年快乐，恭喜发财，万事如意！

love's in the air :DD 

heh xD

vday's here again ((: and i HAVENT prepare presents )):  (now's like wat, 12am??) lol... let me tell you my time spending analysi for today

6.30-9.30 reach home, watched some stupid thing on tv, entertained my brother, slacked BIG time
9.30 did my list of 错别字... i bet you i'm the only person in my chinese class with THAT MANY 错别字!!!! arghh.... i feel so sad :(
9.50-12am went to inet, moelc website (to get homework ><), blog-surfed for the first time in months.

things TO DO (after this):
chinese 长文缩短
phy questions
french ex on pronom relatifs compose (sucks ><)
maths pt proposal (yes... that as well undone)
3-4 maths worksheets ><
read 7 sets of ss notes
read 2 sets of eng notes
read 4-5 geog articles
revise geog
revise chem SPA
revise french
revise 作文 (how do you do that anyway...)
revise a. maths

vday presents!!! i'm dead!!!

i dun have enough stuff!! even though i have red paper xD
lol... i discovered that all my journal entries are like posted around midnight.... late-nights tendency... tsk tsk. NOT GOOD. i need to sleep.

going for 25m breatstroke tmr. and i havent swam since last swim heats.
I'M GONNA DROWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNN..................................................................
HEH. and i'm going for mass sim too :D heh. i hope my dad can come n fetch me lor >< so tired alr aft swim heats 

i seriously have to buck up lar.... like i dunno wat's wrong with me but i just slack!!! arghhh
I HATE WASTING TIME!!!! (hi-5 wen ><) time is in our hands and we need to hold on to it tightly, or else it will just slip away like a cunning eel. lol. i needto hold on extra extra tight man.

learning point of the day:
should care for others more :D hahas... some times we honestly ask ourselves, how much do we really care for those arnd?

do think about that :D hahas

easy for me to say xP i seriously dun have the brain energy and physical energy to put effort into those stuff at times. sometimes life'll be much simpler if we only have one goal in mind: eat drink and be merry!! like i dunno, the animals? i wonder wat they think some times. but then again, its those memories of good times you spent here that makes you think about life in RG. sigh. seems like i'm missing out BIG TIME. 

one day, my dad asked me a really strange qn. it goes something like how would animals view being preyed by others (or somethins like that) then i was like its like the natural part of evolution. then he said wat if that happens to humans? like hunting for humans instead of seals for eg... then i said something like that would be morally incorrect for us, and animals probably dont have things like animals rights or freedoms or politics or emotions etc. then he asked my how do you know the animals dont think as we do? ok well not may be as complicated, but dont they have emotions as well? so it's wrong for us to hunt them for selfish needs (not for crucial survival)?

ok i got his point. but then again, humans are civilised and capable of reasoning and discovering and inventing things that could impact both us and our environment. thus we also have the power to save our environment. we've commited something, we'll be responsible for it. ok just trying to prove that we have morals and conscience and thus we are diffferent from other animals. well, that's my opinion XD

SWIM HEATS TMR 
VALENTINE'S DAY TMR

stupid me woke up on fri about 3.30am to do chinese... spent a freaking long 2and a half hours on it!! lol. we only got like 2hours for both the essay and the situational writing. 

now doing chinese ppr 2 exercise. such an unearthly hour due to my mal-functioning time management (as usual)

well i still have geo fa to go, tons of maths ws, ss n geo n bio readings!!! (they are killing me XD)

well recently i got an inspiration from zan, being such an avid fan of the language japanese (the real CULTURE), she tries to use/talk jap as much as she can. so i shall do that for french too!!! (regardless of the grammar XP heh...) but to avoid spending too much time on it, i've decided to IGNORE THE ACCENTS and USE ENG whenever necessary (aka when i dunno the french one)

C'EST LA VIE!! argh...

la vie est toujours comme ca... les choses que nous voulons n'ont jamais lieu, mais toujours c'est les choses que nous voulons pas ont lieu plus souvent! arghh... c'est pas juste... mais réflexion faite, tout dans le monde n'avait jamais été juste de toute façon XD je suis triste....

actuallement, je veux maitriser le français comme les élèves de jc. et peut-etre prend le delf... sais pas. sigh. je suivrai le sort alors XD haahs

ok... for the above text, about at least 10% is translated online (its mainly for checking those unknown vocab... well of course i rephrased it xD haahas) well i noe how to say it but i dunno how exactly to string them together xP

anyway, i really really think i should get back to my chinese or else i dun need to sleep anymore today

once again, the day is ruined, thanks to amy's bad time-management + digression (online etc)

yea! new slogan :D ahahs. -.-

Paris had been a city I dreamed to go to, a fantasy. With the romantic Eiffel Tour and the luxurious Chateau De Versailles, it was like a beacon of hope and light, shining upon me, driving me forth and urging me to study as hard as I could so that I could earn a place in a school in Paris, any school, as long as I could go to Paris.

Paris to me was like a Paradise, where all the fabulous and magnificent things happen. It was “the place” to be in the world and I had always wanted to be part of the major driving force behind the global fashion and European culture and history.The yearning was like the desire of an eaglet to fly as it knows that its destiny awaits in the sky and the world beyond the nest that it is dying to wander, eager to spread its wings and soar. 

But this had been a dream, no more than a dream, as trying to get out of the country was like trying to dig to the other side of the world, in another word, impossible. So my dream was held like the most precious of all gems, placed on the holiest of altars. It was something I wanted to secretly take out and hold it in admiration when no one was around.

Then, a point of time came when I no longer need admire my dream secretly; it was coming to life. As if with divine intervention, my father managed to find a job in Paris. It was really fortunate, as the little bit of French and English that he had learned when he was merely a boy came into tremendous use, as the number of people of his age in my hometown who could speak a bare bit of English was less than the number of fingers that you can count. It presented as a perfect opportunity, or rather, a divine opportunity that was really once in a lifetime. However, could l really do it? My answer was of course a resolute and resonant “yes”, but my family members and relatives thought it was a step too far too fast. How could I just tag along with my father to Paris just like that? It was an unspeakable thought and behaviour of a girl, but I was going to prove them wrong. The more vigorous the objection got, the stronger my resolution became. I was like a stone Buddha that would not budge however you pushed it. I had something to prove. I had something to achieve.

I felt as if my heart would have flown out of the window if it had not sat inside my ribcage as I sat in the plane to Paris, anxiously anticipating the moment I would arrive it Paris. Perhaps someday when I go to Paris again, there would be people to welcome me in bouquets of flowers and countless “bisous”. I had always dreamt it that way. As the plane flown over the night time cityscape of Paris before its touchdown, I thought I was looking at the most lovely and intricate web of lights. There were neither thunderstorm clouds nor suffocating fog that blocked the view; it really could have been created by the hands of God.

Thus far, it would have sounded like a fairytale, but fairytales always had its share of aguish and bitterness.

After much effort and pain, my father got me through a school in Paris. The school was old and worn-down, as we did not have much to pay. It was right across Paris from where we were staying and riding a rented bicycle was the only way to get to school. I would count my blessings on sunny or cloudy days when I only need to wake up two hours before school starts to go to school; rainy days had much more hassle, needing three hours or more.

As I gradually settled in Paris, the little dream on that altar of mine slowly faded into the shadows. Fairytales are meant to be in the books read as bedtime stories to little kids who had yet known how troubled the world can be. My life in Paris was not one at all.

The migration to Paris had affected me greatly.  Being young and naïve, and only seen the world the size of my town, Paris presented to me as an immense challenge. More than that, it was a struggling journey to acceptance and self discovery.

I did not know why my new classmates stared at me with that weird yet scornfull expression on their faces when I attended classes on the first day. As I stepped into the classroom, an unusual hush fell over the whole class. Everyone turned from wherever they were and they looked at me. Some had a smirk playing on their lips; others had distaste in their eyes. I walked apprehensively down the aisle, eyes concentrating on the seat right at the back of the classroom. The walk seemed to take ages; every step that I made seemed to stir up the millions bits of dust on the floor as thirty-four pairs of eyes followed me to my seat. Finally I sat down and kept my eyes down; I did not know where to look.

A boy spoke to me in English with a thick French accent: “Do you have liver cancer? You look so yellow!” The class burst into mirthless laughter. I was discriminated against right from the start just because of my skin colour.

School continued and my days went down in diminuendo. That dream on the altar had been chucked into the bin. As I sat at the desk which was salvaged from the furniture dump in the rented house, I began to seriously regret coming to Paris. I could have perfectly made a choice to stay in my hometown, where I would have received exemplary compliments from my teachers, respect from my peers, and care and concern from my relatives, whereas now, I had to work doubly hard just to get an B plus for my papers. I was marginalized by the teachers, looked down by my peers, mocked by the vicious “cool clique” and discriminated against for being “yellow”. My father did not have it easy either. He seldom managed to get recognized from his superiors no matter how much effort he put into his job. Promotion was once in a blue moon. Even if it did come, it was by a measly ten to twenty francs. He was not willing to change job, or rather too afraid, as finding a job was like finding a needle in a haystack.

I did not believe that my fate would be set for me like that. I had come all the way to Paris and I was determined that I shall not live my life thus. I wanted to prove to my relatives back home that I did not make a wrong choice in coming here. I wanted to prove to everyone that I can do better than them, and to prove to the teachers that I am as bright as any other student in the school. And so my dream was placed back on the altar."

bad news of the week: my dad's going overseas to seoul, new york and then calgary for 1 n a half weeks and i'll be alone here with my bro n maid!!! arghhh

bad situation.... and its so damn last minite. its like yesterday he told me he needs to fly off and today is the flight or something XD but then again, he carn really refuse cos the problem for the customer in seoul was from his past project xO but then the one in new york is just a conference, so he could have refused... 

but on the brighter side, i get souvenirs ((: hahas. 

today i'm on a very perculiar routine cos i slept after coming home and now i wake up to do work. bad time-management once again by the remarkable amy XD 

anyway, today was quite boring as usual, and we got our commonwealth essay... and i'm in class A when everyone else is in class B (ok, excpet for 2 more ppl XD)

ok... i'm tired n i need to do some work before going back to sleep (again XD)